I don't think I ever knew what love feels like. I used to think love is helping others, caring about others, pleasing others, etc...
Little did I know,
doing all that was great, but doing it at the expense of not receiving, was actually self-sabotage.
I used to find myself in total dismay at the idea of how it could be possible that I can care so much and give so much of myself but not receiving in return.
Little did I know,
that what I was giving was an exchange for not expecting. I was holding my heart in a cage filled with all my insecurities so that no one can come close enough to love me.
I then realised that all this time as I was blocking others from loving me, I was also blocking myself from my own love and the love of the Almighty.
I wasn't fully aware of what it meant to love myself until I realised that loving myself meant connecting more with Him, and connecting more with Him meant cleaning my heart from my ego. Because how can my ego exist in the same heart that loves Him.
It is impossible...
So, when I started riding myself from my ego layer by layer, which is a never-ending story but it is indeed the start of a transformational one, I had to dig deep to heal myself from my own traumas and limiting beliefs that were instilled in me since childhood.
It is in this instance as I was healing, I found LOVE...
I am in you and I am you. No one can understand this, until he has lost his mind. --Rumi
Being Mindful,
Ganeefa
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